Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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