even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
