D3 body, D1 cock
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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