dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I could fuck to npr.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
