do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
