kristin has been a bad kristin
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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