if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
