Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
