I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
