Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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