I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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