dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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