Yo dont text me then not text me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
