all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
