look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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