don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and she was petting her beer can
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
