I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
