you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You ruined the universe
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
