i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
