I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
