yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
