home. puking in laundry basket.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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