I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
