id be glad to
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
