u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
