curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
