I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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