Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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