I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
