and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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