Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
