he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it's great music for shaving your balls
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
