I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
