ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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