I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
