I have demons in me.
Can Purell be used as lube?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
