Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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