The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
