Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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