Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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