in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
