is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
