my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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