Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
