I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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