apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
