Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
