So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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