i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
