I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
