hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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