she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize